Texas driving and I have not had the best relationship since day one. I can still recall the first week of living in San Antonio when Mike urged me to practice driving on these insane 3 to 5 lane highways. I thought I was going to pee my pants I was so terrified. Not only did I get beeped at numerous times on that first venture, but I’m pretty sure I broke at least 10 laws, and that was with me WEARING my glasses, which I never wear out of pure stubbornness. But I mean really, what normal state has a 3 lane highway that they consider the “access” road to merge onto the 5 lane highway?!? Come on people. Seriously.
As time went on I got a few of my routes down pretty well...1) My trip to work. God forbid if there is any flooding or “snow” that closes down the I-10 or I’ll be calling off, because I know one way and one way only to get to work. 2) The route to H.E.B., the grocery store here in Texas. This is literally not even a mile down the road. Sad, I know. 3) Borders. How could I live without my bookstore?! and 4) a more recent discovery because it is more than 10 miles away from my front door - La Cantara mall. Other than these 4 places that I visit more frequently on my own, I either let Mike drive, or I’ll typically rely on Mo, my (not so trusty) 5 year old Garmin with her friendly English accent that only sounds English when she tells me to turn “Roight”.
Just the other week I had a revelation. Thanks to my good friend Dan, a local to San Antonio and one of those “Texas drivers” that I like to complain about, my eyes were opened to a whole new world of driving. Now granted, friends, I by no means am doing EVERYTHING wrong, but apparently I might be deserving of some of these honks and Oh so pleasant expressions combined with that pretty middle finger as they pass me by. As I was driving Dan home one morning after our long 12 hour night shift, I was explaining to him my frustration with Texas drivers and couldn’t decide if they are in a hurry or just lazy and rude. As I was saying this, someone “cut me off” and laid on their horn. What would you do? I yelled “SEE!?” Dan, trying to be the nice person that he is, informed me as kindly as possible that in fact, I was the one who cut them off.
Revelation: I’m the “Texas driver”.
I still don’t feel that I am completely at fault, because in the rest of the country, the “yield” sign is for the cars merging onto a main road. But apparently, here in good ole Texas, the merging cars are allowed to cut across all three lanes while innocent you, minding your own business in your quiet little lane, have to yield to these obnoxious fools. But the tricky thing is, this doesn't apply to ALL merging lanes...only some!! So you better be on the lookout for that yield sign!!
It’s good to know that for the last 3 months I have been cutting off numerous cars wherever I go, while at the same time cursing them and trying to bury my rage at their terrible driving skills. I think that in addition to having to get a TX nursing license, it should also be a requirement that to live in Texas, you first have to go through a week or two of driving lessons. Keeping you in the dark like this just isn’t "roight".
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