Happy Listening!

Rain. There is something so powerful about it. As much as I love a beautiful, warm, sunny day to get outside and be active, there is something equally as wonderful about a rainy day. Maybe not the strong, scary downpour that makes you feel like your car is going to be washed off the highway, or the giant puddles that you inevitably end up ankle deep in no matter how much you attempt to avoid them, but that peaceful, steady rain that taps against the roof and the windows while you settle yourself on your sofa with a blanket, a mug of steaming coffee, and a good book.  Sometimes I just like to sit and listen. This might be cheesy, but a lot of the time I think the rain is telling me something (or is it those voices in my head again? I’m not really sure). These are some of the best moments of meditation for me where God is telling me to stop everything and just listen for his voice. Sometimes he speaks, sometimes he doesn’t, but almost always, I feel his peace.  Since we’ve been in San Antonio we have only had a handful of rainy days, and for this I am so thankful. But because of that, I feel like each one of these rare rainy days is a little present to me with a tag that reads “For: Katy ... Happy listening!”  

The last time we flew on an airplane the weather was terrible. We were heading home from Colorado that night and, as usual, the minute we hit bad turbulence, I thought we were going down. I began to formulate my game plan of who to call and what I would say in my farewell message to them if we started our plummet to the earth. Finally, to calm my nerves, I put on my headphones and listened to some chill, peaceful music while I turned out my overhead lamp and looked out of the little porthole-like window and onto the huge dark sky. What I found amazed me. How had I not noticed the beauty that lay out there in the midst of my panic over my extremely unlikely death that was about to occur? I’m not sure if I can do this scene justice, but I will try. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt much closer to God than I did at that moment. It was almost as if I was eye level with him and what he see’s on a daily basis. Out in the distance was a vast stretch of storm clouds miles and miles long. As my music played through my headphones, the lightening bolts seemed to dance along with it. With each bolt of lightening, the whole night sky lit up before me over and over again, as if someone was directing an orchestra where the spot lights are flashing on and off to capture each of the amazing performers in action. Every flash left a distinctive mark in the sky, and as suddenly as they appeared, they vanished just as quickly. I’ve never seen 5 or 6 or 7 bolts of lightening strike at one time, and what made it even more intense was the fact that I felt so far and separated from this scene while at the same time, like I was a part of it all. I was completely at peace and in awe of this power and knowledge that is so beyond me.

Needless to say, I was no longer worried about plummeting to my death. If I was going down, well then at least I could come back up here and enjoy this scene a little longer instead of passing it by and heading back into empty, dark skies again. I could have stared out of that window forever enjoying the beauty and the power of that moment, but like these rare rainy days, it is a moment that I will hold onto in my memory, and a moment that spoke to my soul like nothing else ever could if it was in front of me every day. So next time you hear the tap - tap - tap of the run off from your roof, stop what you are doing, curl up on the sofa, and take a good, long listen to the rain. That rain sure has a lot to say.

* For those of you who might like the full experience, or at least part of the experience that I had, listen to this song, then maybe listen to it while re-reading the visual I attempted to make for you all. It might not impact you as it did me, but this is just a little taste of what was spoken to me :)

      

A New Revelation

Texas driving and I have not had the best relationship since day one. I can still recall the first week of living in San Antonio when Mike urged me to practice driving on these insane 3 to 5 lane highways. I thought I was going to pee my pants I was so terrified. Not only did I get beeped at numerous times on that first venture, but I’m pretty sure I broke at least 10 laws, and that was with me WEARING my glasses, which I never wear out of pure stubbornness. But I mean really, what normal state has a 3 lane highway that they consider the “access” road to merge onto the 5 lane highway?!? Come on people. Seriously. 

As time went on I got a few of my routes down pretty well...1) My trip to work. God forbid if there is any flooding or “snow” that closes down the I-10 or I’ll be calling off, because I know one way and one way only to get to work. 2) The route to H.E.B., the grocery store here in Texas. This is literally not even a mile down the road. Sad, I know. 3) Borders. How could I live without my bookstore?! and 4) a more recent discovery because it is more than 10 miles away from my front door - La Cantara mall. Other than these 4 places that I visit more frequently on my own, I either let Mike drive, or I’ll typically rely on Mo, my (not so trusty) 5 year old Garmin with her friendly English accent that only sounds English when she tells me to turn “Roight”. 

Just the other week I had a revelation. Thanks to my good friend Dan, a local to San Antonio and one of those “Texas drivers” that I like to complain about, my eyes were opened to a whole new world of driving. Now granted, friends, I by no means am doing EVERYTHING wrong, but apparently I might be deserving of some of these honks and Oh so pleasant expressions combined with that pretty middle finger as they pass me by.  As I was driving Dan home one morning after our long 12 hour night shift, I was explaining to him my frustration with Texas drivers and couldn’t decide if they are in a hurry or just lazy and rude. As I was saying this, someone “cut me off” and laid on their horn. What would you do? I yelled “SEE!?”  Dan, trying to be the nice person that he is, informed me as kindly as possible that in fact, I was the one who cut them off. 

Revelation:  I’m the “Texas driver”. 

I still don’t feel that I am completely at fault, because in the rest of the country, the “yield” sign is for the cars merging onto a main road. But apparently, here in good ole Texas, the merging cars are allowed to cut across all three lanes while innocent you, minding your own business in your quiet little lane, have to yield to these obnoxious fools. But the tricky thing is, this doesn't apply to ALL merging lanes...only some!! So you better be on the lookout for that yield sign!!

It’s good to know that for the last 3 months I have been cutting off numerous cars wherever I go, while at the same time cursing them and trying to bury my rage at their terrible driving skills. I think that in addition to having to get a TX nursing license, it should also be a requirement that to live in Texas, you first have to go through a week or two of driving lessons. Keeping you in the dark like this just isn’t "roight".

A Taste of Home

As we posted before, there are definitely times where we get to missing home. So, it is always nice to see something that reminds us of Pittsburgh. One of the things we see most often is Heinz ketchup. So, a big thanks to Heinz for making the worlds best ketchup, it gives us something to remember Pittsburgh by.

Do Something Productive!!

            So being on this night schedule is a bit overrated. My body has completely gotten used to sleeping all day and staying up all night. It sucks. I’m tired, nauseous, and always confused about what day it is. Thank God for facebook (did I really just say that??) or I don’t know what I would do with myself on these long lonely nights. Someone needs to kick me in the butt and tell me to do something more productive!

            Recently, I’ve been getting more motivated to start up with drawing and painting again. I’m by no means a great artist, but it is one of my favorite escapes…just turn on some music, get in my zone, and focus. So tonight, after all of my other night shift facebook friends finally signed off between 2 and 3 am, I thought, OK, what now? So here I sit, at 0620 am, feeling quite proud of myself for doing some artwork instead of wasting more time facebook stalking! 
            Here’s a peek at my rough draft of Calvin that I worked on tonight (I can't figure out if it is cute or creepy...I'm thinking so far kinda creepy) along with some other drawings from the last few months! Sorry Ker, it’s the best I could do at 5am…

My rough draft of Calvin...the only way you can really tell it's him is by the tongue sticking out :)

More close up of  his face

My first drawing that I did for my painting class this past summer...this lead to many attempted and failed paintings :(

Clover!

Random owl.

Contemplating Life

Yesterday Mike and I were walking Clover around outside of our apartment complex.  As we were coming around the bend, I spotted a middle-aged woman up ahead walking from her car with her elderly mother on her left hand and a heavy shopping bag in the right. It’s weird how instincts kick in before something even happens, like the time a tennis ball came flying at the side of my face and I caught it left handed without glancing up, or the time Mike knocked over a wine glass to my left as I was mid conversation to my right and my hand magically and gracefully stopped the glass without hesitation. Maybe I just have super power reaction time. Anyway, the minute I saw the old woman’s foot step over the curb and onto the grass, I immediately threw Clover’s leash in the air and said “shit”, only seconds before I saw the old woman turn her ankle and fall to the ground. We sprinted over to them, although Clover had different ideas of why we were running to this interesting person who was having fun “rolling” in the grass… As I did a quick head to toe assessment to make sure she was stable before helping her get back up, my heart tore into two pieces for this old woman and her frazzled daughter. I don’t know what is wrong with me, but when it comes to old people I turn into a big curly-haired puddle, which is followed by a half hour of analysis over who these people are and what their story is and whether the old woman is OK. Should I knock on their door tomorrow? Bring them cookies and a bottle of prune juice? Maybe double check to be sure that this lady, who states she is post two brain surgeries and who gets back up, stubborn as ever, brushing me off and saying “I know how to land…the best place to land is here, on your butt,” did in fact only bruise her butt.

Long story short, I think this just reaffirmed why I am better at pediatric nursing and why I will just stick with picking up broken old women from the curb instead of wiping their butts and seeing their sad eyes every day. When it comes to pediatrics, it’s easier for me to think to myself when a child falls down, “Alright kid, buck up. Quit whining, you’ll be ok.” But an old man or woman with their cute sad eyes and embarrassed stubbornness just melts my heart.

            These days I have found myself contemplating life and the future too much. I don’t know why I always do this, but as soon as I begin one thing, I always want to know “what is next?” My sister Keri gave me good advice after my last blog post about missing Pittsburgh, and I know she’s right - I just need to live in the moment by enjoying and appreciating each day that comes instead of wishing it away by wondering what to do to get to the next step in my life. It’s silly to always wonder these things that are mostly out of your control because you miss so much of what is right in front of you.

            One of the big things I have been trying to figure out is where I want my nursing career to take me after our adventures with traveling are over. I’ve had multiple talks lately with different friends who are in the nursing profession and I am actually relieved to discover that I’m not the only one feeling a little lost! There are more nurses than I realized who are trying to figure out where their path should take them, and what they truly have a passion for when it comes to nursing. So many more of my friends are starting to feel burnt out with floor nursing and all of the “joys” that come with this life of a staff nurse. I know that despite all of the shit (literally) that we as nurses deal with on a daily basis, we do make a difference. More importantly, I’ve learned first-hand that there are patients and families who are placed in our lives for a reason. Those kids and parents will forever remain in my memory as individuals who helped to shape me and make me the nurse and the person that I am today.  Through watching these kids fight death, and at times not succeed, I have learned a whole new strength and determination and hope that has changed me. This reason alone is enough to continue to motivate me to do what I do and to be thankful for each of those kids who has made an impression on my life and who keep me reminding myself, “this is why I am a nurse”.

*Please excuse the frequent use of the word shit in this post. Thank you.*

What I imagined in my head if Clover had gone to help out :) Sorry, I'm better with pencil and paper...

Missing the 'Burgh

       The last few days of work for both of us have been a little rough, and I know for myself I occasionally wonder why in the world I am doing this. Today we had a mini discussion about future plans even though we are only a month into this. This past month has flown by and I know the next 4 will go even faster with the holidays coming and everyone being busy. Anyway, we have to start to think about things sooner or later, and although our plan is to travel for at least a year, who knows what will change or how! We started to talk about where we might like to go after March 19th, or if we decide that traveling isn't for us, then what happens next? There are many times that we find ourselves missing Pittsburgh and our friends and family, and I always find myself comparing little things here with the familiar things back in the burgh.
       After reading a comment from my friend Bethany and sharing with her the things we miss most about Pittsburgh, I started to tear up a bit as I recalled part of that long list. It is always nice to bring these things back into memory when times here get a little more challenging and we start to miss our friends and family back home. So for the heck of it, and as sort of a catharsis for Mike and I, we decided to reminisce, build this list together, and share it with all of you!!
    

 What we miss most about Pittsburgh:

Skyline at the Pirates game this summer before we left

Spending time with our friends. The Steeler's. Steeler's parties. Our 40 inch HDTV (especially for the Steeler's parties). Having friends on holidays like Halloween. Mike's old comic book store, Phantom of the Attic, and discounted comic books. Bellefield.  Riverview park. The strip. Our favorite restaurant, Girasole. Having sharp knives. Seeing Harry Potter every year on opening night with the Lubinskis. Gas cooking. The skyline. Fall leaves. The LIVING ministry. Being part of ALIVE (the ministries biggest yearly event). The Children's Home (this job gives me a new appreciation for my old job). Pumpkin patches. One lane streets. Giant Eagle. Qdoba. A backyard. Video games. My collection of  books. Dinners at Aunt Jane's. All of the new babies. Having a hair salon. Small groups. Quinn and Rose on the radio. Light up Night with friends. The old Honda Civic. The farmers markets. Mike preaching Wednesday mornings at Light of Life. Pot holes (oh wait, just kidding). Clover's favorite kennel. My painting class. Charles' awesome surprise parties. $5/free popcorn Monday's at South Side Works theater. Working with friends. Going to lunch with friends. Taking walks with friends. Having face to face conversations with friends. Pretty much all of our awesome Pittsburgh friends :)

Mike's 28th birthday surprise and his friends who made his cake :)

        Now clearly, we could continue that list forever, but those are some of the highlights. And, there could also be a list of what we DON'T miss about Pittsburgh, but those would be mundane things like rush hour bridge traffic, trash on the sidewalks, and owning a home that won't sell...but those things just depress everyone, and what we need now is to smile as we remember all of the good things about the place we love and miss...Pittsburgh!

Light up Night 2006 - Charity, Jess, me and Beth

ALIVE 2008 - Liz, me and Kelly!

Puedo Ir Al Bano?

           San Antonio is filled with so many different cultures! Obviously, one of the main languages here is Spanish, and I have already had several Spanish speaking families and patients that I have cared for at my new job. Since I haven’t really brushed up on my Spanish since my one mission trip years ago to Mexico, and prior to that my Spanish classes in high school, I think it’s about time I learn a little more than hola, me llamo Katy. Quieres agua? Que es la hora? Yo tengo mucho hambre! Chicle en la basura. And, Puedo ir al bano? I mean, when am I going to ask my patient’s Spanish speaking mother if I can go to the bathroom? And why would I be telling someone to throw their gum in the trash can? The only reason I remember that is from my 8^th grade Spanish teacher repeatedly yelling this at kids like Steven McDowell.

            So to start off on the right foot, I frantically researched events going on this weekend since I have 5 nights off, and after a couple hours of Googling Mike and I were off to embrace the diverse cultural heritage in our new city! Here’s a few pictures of each event to help you share our experiences with us. 

Friday night: Lebanese Festival

Me drinking some Lebanese coffee out of my dainty little cup

Yum! Baclowa!

Watching Lebanese folk dancing called Dabke

Capturing a little "Texan Lebanese" culture :)

 Saturday afternoon: Primaro Sabado en El Marcado

Mexican dance performers at El Mercado. Lovin' the Mariachi!

Inside the market - tons of fun stuff!

The shirt says it all :)

Mike's dream of becoming Nacho Libre is almost complete

We saw a bunch of Quinceineras on Saturday! So cute!

Saturday evening/night: Diwali Festival of Lights

When we got to the event, people were still preparing for the upcoming performances. Here, an Indaian woman is drawing a mandala in front of the "stage".

For the performances they had groups representing each state in India and showed how they dress and their dance styles. This woman was one of our favorites. She is representing Orissa.

Another group representing Maharashtra. They were amazing!

Floating my diya into the fountain.

A picture of the floating diyas.  I'm not sure if this is 100% accurate, but what they taught us is that Diwali (The Festival of Lights) is a holiday where they celebrate the triumph of good over evil, and lighting the diya's is a way to honor knowledge over ignorance, or to bring light where there is darkness. They say this is to bring hope and prosperity to all mankind.

Here you can see all of the lit diyas around the edge of the fountain.

Mike floating his diya

Sunday: Mission Trail

Mission Concepcion - built in 1740 and apparently the oldest stone church in the US. There are 5 missions total along the trail. The Alamo is one of them, and we decided to bike to two of the other 4 on Sunday.

Inside the sanctuary at Mission Concepcion. They still hold masses in this church.

Mission San Jose. My favorite so far! It was huge and had some awesome architecture.  For anyone who read Pillars of the Earth, you felt like you were there with Tom the builder :)

Cool little view through a few doorway arches at San Jose.

Watch out for the cactus roof!

Mike being nice and carrying my camelbak :)

The main doors leading into the sanctuary.

Getting ready to ride back to the beginning of the trail!